Better Than You Think You Are

Once freeof burdensome self-criticisms and self-denial, unfair comparisons with others and unreasonable demands of perfection in an imperfect world . . . you may discover that you’re better than you think you are.

The underlying concept above is as simple as it is powerful, and has not been given the attention it deserves.

We didn’t begin life with unreasonable demands of perfection for others or ourselves; nor did we enter into this existence with feelings of inadequacy or denial of self. Mostly we were just happy to be alive and interact with others who care about us and love us and whom we love and care about. It wasn’t all that complicated. We simply were interested in life and in living it the best we could.

Somewhere along the line, things changed.

We began to accept the idea that sometimes we didn’t win; sometimes things didn’t work out as expected, or just like we wanted.

And eventually some of us even began to accept the idea that maybe we just weren’t up to the challenge. In time, we started settling for ‘good enough‘ rather than going for what we really wanted.

But it became even more insidious. Self-doubt began to creep into our consciousness. We developed bad habits of wondering and worrying about who we really are, questioning what were we doing here and more.

Life didn’t look as interesting as it once did, but it didn’t matter, as now we weren’t that interested anyway. Striving to be the ‘best we can be’ was not all that it was chalked up to be.

We lost our way and lost sight of who we really were. Instead we began to believe the lie that we were just not good enough. We reined in our hopes and dreams and accepted ‘reality’ in their place. In short, we let go of our bright-eyed, natural belief in ourselves and in its place, substituted self-denial as a way of life.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, if you just can accept and let yourself be who you really are, and always have been.

Recognizing, acknowledging and accepting the fact that we all have human strengths and weaknesses may be the first step toward allowing yourself to be you. No two people are exactly the same. And no one person is perfect.

In fact the prison of perfection is a trap designed to keep you from feeling comfortable in your own skin and who you really are.

Demanding unreal standards of perfection only makes the job harder and the emotional toll unnecessarily stressful. While holding to the goal of working toward perfection, it’s better to accept the fact that it is a never-ending process, not a result in itself. It’s a work in progress. Maybe a healthy dose of ‘uncommon sense’ should be applied to balance things out.

Knowing and accepting who you really are is the first stepping stone to rapid-launch your life again; it reduces stress and makes everything go easier. It really is not a strain to be nice to people and it enhances their existence and yours at the same time. If for no other reason, it reduces the stress of social intercourse.

Your interest alone in other people will often be all that is necessary to make their lives a bit easier. You don’t even have to do anything special, just being interested in and curious about other people and their lives tends to make you more interesting and gives their lives a boost at the same time.

The unanticipated benefits may include the fact that critical attitudes, jealousies, unreal demands of perfection of self and others tend to fade in importance. Things just don’t seem all that serious when you’re at ease in your own skin and confident with who you really are.

Finally, unfettered by pretended powerlessness, free from the deadly limitations of self-denial, stripped of the pretentiousness and arrogance that being perfect demands, all that is left is what is really important, the real you.

Sooner or later, you’ll inevitably accept that you really are better than you think you are.

daniel w. jacobs
(c) 2010-2030, all rights reserved


3 Responses to “Better Than You Think You Are”

  1. Captain DAG Says:

    “I love your post, lovely😊”! But there is one thing I understand in years of experiences and life cycles, perfection is good. I love being perfect in my own skin and my own love for myself. In other words everyone are made perfect to every matter life gives, once you understand your roll in perfectly obtaining a creative belief in yourself and for others. It’s all made in perfection even when it’s time to cry, a time to laugh, a time to say no and a time to say yes. But also, perfection to change who you our depends on the good in yourself. Don’t be close minded to your surroundings. Perfection should always be of self love, not self change for the worst, but self change for the good in you.😀 So, I’m Perfect, I’m self loved.

  2. Excellent writing!! Thank you.


  3. Jeremy Haskovec Says:

    Just found this blog, read 2 posts and am already hooked! Great stuff from someone who clearly knows what he is talking about. In my mind, sales is really about treating people well, understanding them as deeply as possible, and doing your best to figure out how to add as much value to their lives as you possibly can. With that kind of mindset, you can’t help but make friends (and sales) and also have a lot of fun in the process. Can’t wait to read more!

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